spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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