Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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