His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
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