also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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