ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy