I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?