Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?