im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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