i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
