How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
