Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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