she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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