real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
