youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
