Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
