thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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