he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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