This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
COCAINE IS GR8
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
