Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
