There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize