Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
