took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
