It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize