I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
