There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
