My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize