I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
