living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
