dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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