You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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