she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I forget how to act sober
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
