I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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