i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Congratulations! We have a period
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