Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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