Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woke up backwards on a recliner
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
