I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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