we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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