My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Enjoy the penises
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize