Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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