I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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