idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
