wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
A bitchslap is in order.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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