You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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