i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
No I am not eating basil off your cock
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
