I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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