Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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