his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
