If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
