Porn is love you can see.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
