but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
