I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
