I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
