i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
