Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
