Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
