I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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