i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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