No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
