he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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